Before we start, I just want to add that this is not financial advice. This is information only.

One of my goals for 2022 is to start a YouTube channel. So, at the beginning of Feb, Personal Finances and Investing with Duffmoney will start on YouTube. This channel will help absolute beginners with their personal finances and then with their investing.

The first 20 odd videos will be loosely based on my 1st book all about my colourful relationship with money and how I’ve managed to turn things around. This will be split into 4 sections and there will be 5 videos in each section. The first section is all about money mindset. See below for a little summary of money mindset:

Money mindset

  • Reflect on your relationship with money
  • Understand your relationship with money
  • Learn from previous mistakes or lessons and get comfortable with failure
  • Avoid (at all costs) the idea of quick easy money and adapt the tortoise mentality who looks at wealth building as long-term
  • How to manage and work with your amygdala (emotional part of the brain) … work on being neutral

Reflect on your relationship with money

What even is money?

Money is a medium of exchange

It is a unit of measure.

And it is a store of wealth.

When you grow up on a council estate, money is scarce. And it is inevitable to grow up with a scarcity mindset around money if you don’t have much money. That is until you learn about money. When you learn about money, you realise that there is an abundance of money.

The problem is that most people are not taught about money. I certainly wasn’t and have subsequently had a difficult relationship with money until the last few years. Until I took matters into my own hands and decided to get some much-needed financial literacy.

I’ll hold my hands up – I’ve always had a thing for money…. At a very basic level.. money enables you to put a roof over your head and food on the table.

I never wanted for anything and my parents went above and beyond … but it wasn’t like we were flush and to get money I knew early on I had to work for it. I remember hearing things like money doesn’t grow on trees … or money is bad and even the root of all evil … this was probably because we didn’t have much. This led to me washing cars, paper rounds, working in my great aunty’s fruit and veg shop , odd job man and gardener as I was leaving senior school.

I was very optimisitic and had ideas of becoming a footballer and buying my Mam a big posh house and taking her on holiday.

Anyway …

My career path was again all about money as I wanted to earn decent money to buy a nice car and go on holidays with the lads … and get the latest clothes and everything else a young lad starting out in the world is after…

I went in the RAF for a career and of course cos I was looking for decent money … I left the RAF after 5 years  as it wasn’t for me .. I left to be an electrical contractor and be closer to Katie who is now my wife. But this brought anxiety as I didn’t have that guaranteed income from the RAF.

Worried about money leaving the RAF I tried a few side hustles that didn’t work out – like trying to sell aloe vera products to family and friends –  NOT GOOD and it still makes me cringe and was probably my most embarrassing moment to date – I also tried to set up an eBay business and a few other things …. my career as electrician eventually took off and I have earned good money since.. especially between 2012 and 2016… but if there were ever periods out of work it made me anxious —

What I will say is that money has made me anxious from leaving the RAF up until late 2018 …. I didn’t realise this until I started to understand money in early 2019 .. This lets you in on my relationship with money over the years.

Understanding your relationship with money

This is me labouring the point.  Now we’ve reflected on our relationship with money we can understand our relationship with money.

I used to buy into that money was evil and all the other negative things you hear about it. But it really isn’t. It is simply a tool that is used to get you things.




I used to talk about other people and say things like “its ok for them, their parents gave them everything.” This is a negative attitude that I’m not proud of …. And when you look into it most millionaires and billionaires are self-made… At least a large percentage are self-made when you look at the FORBES rich list.

I’d be the same about footballers … very negative about how they are overpaid blah blah blah … yeah they probably are overpaid and yes top surgeons should be on more than footballers. But that doesn’t mean we have to be negative towards people with money. And when you look into it further, people with serious wealth tend to be philanthropists and give a lot of money to charities and worthy causes … this is the case with modern footballers who do really good things for there communities.

I’ve had a big shift in my attitude towards money. And this has come after the last 3 years of learning about money. Finally, I have got some much-needed financial literacy.

After reflecting on my relationship with money, my understanding of money has improved. I’ve always liked money and have always been looking for more of it.

But I used to chase after easy money. I was always chasing the pot at the end of the rainbow.

Selling aloe vera products without any research. Back in 2006 when I was leaving the RAF and was worried about money.

Trying to start an eBay business without any research… again when I’d left the RAF and was adapting to the uncertainty that comes with being a contractor

PUTTING MY LIFE SAVINGS into single shares without research…. This was when I first started offshore and FOMO kicked in and I wanted to make quick easy money in the stock market.

Earning good money and then putting money into premium bonds and hoping for a big win. I earned less than 1% interest from premium bonds …

I was also Convinced I was going to win the lottery or a big football bet. I still put my football bets on but I’m not too bothered or convinced I’m going to win a big bet …

Having a little 12-year gap between rental no.3 and rental no.4 cos of my negative relationship with property and money.

The mistakes go on and on. What I eventually realised was that I was an emotional investor. Like checking in on my single shares every 5 mins back in 2010 ish … Or having a 12 year gap before buying properties cos I was fuming that I was £50000 in the red after the 2008 financial crisis.

My mantra to my poor wife was “where does our money go?” By the end of 2018, I was bored of my negative self … my whinging and moaning …. and didn’t want to put my money issues onto my family for another minute.

You see with no financial literacy; my personal finances were very poor. I spent what I earned and there were even periods where I spend more than I earned and worried about it later. This made me anxious and looking back on a 10 – year period id had a very very poor relationship with money.

From the start of 2019 I’ve pushed myself to learn about money and iron out those mistakes from that negative decade. I READ 1 BOOK per week on money, business or personal development – it helps. Ive consumed podcasts, YouTube videos and anything else I can again on money, business and personal development.

Honestly, I can tell you that your relationship with money can be improved. By learning about money this led me to better habits. I have been really focused on replacing bad habits with good habits.

The fear of failure…

Fear of failure has been a big issue for me in the past.

But since getting into personal development at the start of 2019, im getting better. I’m learning to take myself less seriously. Like the fact that I have a podcast despite my monotone voice.

But what has this got to do with personal finance and investing?

For me, the fear of failure had a negative impact on my personal finance and investing in the past. Especially during my little 10-year period of negativity. Of being an absolute misery about money and property.

Before I get further into today’s video, I want you to understand that it’s 100% ok to fail. Like Thomas Eddison when he failed 10,000 times before sussing out how to energise a lightbulb. If it wasn’t for Mr Edison, we wouldn’t have the means to light our homes.

And successful people understand this. They understand that failure is just part of the process on the way to success. But the cavaet is that this is hard to realise … well it has been for me anyway.

I used to take myself far too seriously and failure, or perceived failure HAD a negative impact on me.

One minute I have a few properties and have £50k in equity. The next I am £50k in the red. And this was mainly down to the 2008 financial crisis. This led to me burying my head in the sand for a decade. And being miserable about money and my rental properties for 10 years.

It wasn’t just the 2008 financial crisis that led to me being negative about money and property. It was any little bump in the road.

Looking back, I think this negative attitude was linked closely to my crippling fear of failure. Maybe I was too bothered about what people thought of me if I failed again. If I got back into property, what if I failed again? What would people think of me? What would my friends and family think of me? These are just some of my previous limiting beliefs – not good!

There are many examples of my fear of failure being an issue for me.

It held me back with Brazilian jiu jitsu in competitions. I would be far too nervous for competitions and it led to average results. And this was probably me thinking about what others thought of me. This changed a bit in and around 2018 as I started to take myself less seriously. I was realising that no one was overly concerned about how I done in a Brazilian jiu jit su comp.

Or when I had an interview for a job at the start of 2017. I tried to memorise 3 sheets of A4 and I fluffed my lines… and almost broke down … again the fear of failure was crippling .. I managed to get the job, but the point is how vulnerable I was. Cos again, I was taking myself far too seriously.

EVENTUALLY I learn my lessons.

At the end of 2018, I’d had enough of being negative. I got into personal development and had a word with myself.

I had a lightbulb moment when I realised how bad my fear of failure was. I made it one of my goals to move past my fear of failure. It wasn’t easy.

I forced myself to go into jitz competitions (Brazilian jiu jitsu and enjoy myself – win or lose – I would learn from the experience and be better for it).

I became less serious at work and was ready to buy properties again. It might not go to plan…  like with my previous properties … but I was ready to fail forward.

I was ready to fail, keep failing until I succeeded with property.

Moving past failure has been difficult but becoming more comfortable with failure has led to improved results. This will be rolled out over the next few videos. Not earth-shattering results but a shift in mindset has 100% helped me move forward.

At the start of 2022, I am at a stage in my life where I own my mistakes and am more than willing to fail. I fully understand that failure is a big part of success. More than that it is essential to fail in order to succeed – in my opinion… and this comes across in many of the personal development books I have read over the last few years.

Tortoise mentality to build wealth

Just to pop back to my 10-year negativity period. This was a period were I chased quick easy money. I chased the pot at the end of the rainbow.

I chased the pot at the end of the rainbow with single shares, premium bonds, football bets, lottery etc etc… It might work out and you might get a big win on a footy bet … it didn’t work out for me, and I would suggest adopting a long-term view when it comes to investing.

If you adopt the tortoise like long-term buy and hold, I believe it will lead to game changing results. You will get early financial independence or whatever your financial goals are. I am long-term buy and hold with property, index investing and crypto investing. This is only my opinion and with the duffmoney YouTube channel, my intention is to present my case for the tortoise approach of investing.


Whenever I say this type of thing to friends and family, they roll their eyes and are really not interested in long-term. They want the quick easy money. Like I did a few short years ago. But why not look at my lessons. I have been investing for 20 years. My 1st 17 years I was investing without any financial literacy. Not good!

Financial literacy is massively important. Just look at lottery winners who end up broke – the reason is because they don’t understand money and aren’t financially literate. Depending on what you read between 60 and 70% of lottery winners end up broke after a few short years. This is down to a lack of education where money is concerned.

It is my honest opinion that if you are not willing to play the long game – you won’t get the wealth building results you’re looking for.

It is my honest opinion that quick easy money will do you no good 1) you probably won’t get quick easy money 2) if you are lucky enough to get it – you will probably lose it …

This is very relevant at the start of 2022 as there have been a lot of people looking for quick easy money with crypto assets over the last few months. There has been some serious FOMO kicking in.

Many people I know, have been coming to me asking how they can get a 10x or 100x …. Like if you put a £1000 in and managed to take £10k or even £100k out if your crypto flies up in value ….. it could happen but IMO it is the wrong approach to expect it … this is like I used to be when I was chasing the pot at the end of the rainbow with football bets … I expected it to happen

I explain that I am not a fa … I explain that they need to do their own research … I explain that it is best if they understand it and look at it long-term … I tell them to read the white paper and look into who the software developers are and what the use case is – but they don’t listen as they are wanting quick easy money …. I guess people need to make their own mistakes. That’s certainly been the case for me!!

I’ve been investing in crypto since 2017 and it took me up until 2021 to actually learn about it. With more understanding, I believe crypto and digital assets have a big part to play in the future of money .. and this is why crypto is part of my long-term investing strategy. This is only my opinion based on experience and finally taking the time to do my own research.

I am speaking from experience – I earned very good money between 2012 and 2016 and because of a lack of financial education, I didn’t really hold onto it… I got the bigger house, the better car, more holidays blah blah blah – basically spending what I was earning… But I didn’t get any assets that would work for me. I didn’t get one single asset in this period.

Things have changed and I see myself as an investor. I’ve made some mistakes. I’ve got some good results in property, stocks and shares and now in crypto.

I fully realise the importance of assets. Assets that produce your passive income. Imagine assets that made you passive income. That is income without having to do anything. You might have money in a stocks and shares index fund that makes you x amount per month in interest for example. Or you might have x number of properties that bring in passive income.

Emotional intelligence

Learn to manage and work with your amygdala… or as Steven Peters refers to it as the chimp part of your brain. On a side note – The Chimp Paradox, by Steven Peters is well worth a read. And if I refer to my amygdala as my chimp this is where the reference comes from. From my experience, learning to manage your amygdala will help to calm you down and help you with personal finance and investing.

The amygdala is basically the emotional part of the brain. I won’t go too much into it as my understanding of the make-up of the brain is limited. All I’m saying is to be aware that when you are overwhelmed with emotions, it is your chimp brain kicking in.

Like if someone is driving ahead of you far too slowly and you get a bit of road rage. Or you let someone through a tight road, and they don’t wave and the road rage kicks in. This used to be but now I am cool calm and collected – well I try to be anyway … I’m certainly not getting stressed out in a car.

Intuitively, I knew a few years ago I needed to be better at managing my emotions. I was too miserable and too stressed, and it was following me home. I’d be worried about money – it would follow me home and id be moody and sullen about it … instead of being open and honest with my wife and putting a plan in place to sort my act out.

If we had an argument I my stress levels would go from 0 to 10 fairly quickly and I would finish the argument with my nasty tongue. Hands up I am 100% not proud!

Or if I was stressed out at work – id take it home with me. My issues tended to revolve around work and money. Mainly money to be honest.

My chimp brain was kicking in at work as well. I’d get stressed out over not much at all because I was tired or whatever. And a big part of it was that in the background … sub consciously I was thinking about my poor personal finances.

I knew I had to sort my act out in my early 30s. I even started to meditate to calm myself down. But trust me 5-10 mins meditation won’t do you any good if you have poor emotional control. It lasted a few months and then it stopped, and I felt ok. But really, I wasn’t. I won’t go too deep into it, but I’ve always had poor emotional control looking back. My amygdala is stronger than my logical side of my brain and I didn’t really understand this until I got into personal development.

To even think about investing, it is important to work on your emotional intelligence. Otherwise, you will become too emotional when investing. This is the way I was until the last few years.

YouTube channel

This is a post to go over the 5 videos that will cover money mindset on my new YouTube channel. If you like the sound of my new YouTube channel, look out for it in early February.

By the way, if you want some more info on personal finance and investing, you can always read my 1st book. Or if you are on a limited budget, I have no issues sending you a FREE COPY.

Leave A Comment

  1. Kamedis January 8, 2022 at 10:01 pm - Reply

    Great content! Keep up the good work!